We've all seen those infamous "MySpace pictures." A young woman is photographed from an obscenely high angle. A background light is turned on so brightly that it's impossible to discern any of her facial features. Her hair is perfect combed to cover her eyes and half of her face. The camera angle makes it impossible to tell her body type. Are you looking at Aphrodite or Jabba the Hut? No one can tell.
And don't think guys are immune to this phenomenon either. Guys will take a close up of their barbed wire bicep tattoo while conveniently leaving their face out of the shot. They'll point a camera at a fogged up mirror so that the resulting photograph is nothing more than a smoky silhouette. Or they'll just post an old picture of Brad Pitt they found on Google Images and hope no one notices that it's not them.
Of all the lies perpetrated on the general public, you could argue that these "MySpace pics" are the worst and most prevalent. And while putting a questionable picture on MySpace doesn't really hurt anyone, this phenomenon becomes a major problem when these pictures are used for online dating profiles.
It's obvious why people do this sort of thing. They want to put their best foot forward, and when you're not a supermodel, people can judge you harshly. Instead of putting yourself out there, it's much safer and easier to post a blurry picture, taken from a high angle with a blinding backlight. When no one can figure out what you look like, no one can criticize you.
But in truth, these pictures are hurting people much more than they realize. Why? Because you're starting off a relationship by lying. Oh sure, everyone wants to present their best self to the opposite sex, but there's a difference between using your favorite picture and actively creating a new image that presents a deceitful version of yourself. It's not different than saying you're religious when you're actually an atheist, or saying you love dogs when deep down you're secretly a cat person. You are a liar and a fake and that is not a great way to kick off a relationship.
Furthermore, these pictures don't even help you. Sure, you'll get a few extras winks or messages or dates because of a better picture, but unless you're dating a visually impaired person, they are eventually going to see the real you. So now, you've set them up with an unrealistic idea of who you are. Not only are you leaving the door open for a let down, you're practically guaranteeing it. I once heard a story about a guy who went on a date with someone from an online dating site, and when he arrived at the movie theater, he couldn't find her, so he called her cell phone, only to discover she was standing next to him the entire time. He didn't realize this because the girl didn't look anything like her online picture. He was duped! This kind of behavior doesn't pay off. Isn't it better to set the bar low and exceed expectations? Say you go on a date with a person who expects you to be subpar looking and you end up being somewhat attractive. Jackpot, you're in.
Try this: Next time you want a date, sign up for a dating site. And try a local dating site; say you're from Hartford, CT, then use a Connecticut dating site instead of one of those national ones. Then put up an honest picture of yourself. You can use one of your better photos, but make it an honest one. No smoke and mirrors, no blinding backlights, no emo haircuts covering your eyes, and for god's sake get someone else to take the picture instead of doing a 7 feet away long-arm. You might be scared at first to put your true self out there online. But what's truly scary is the prospect of ending up bitter and alone, which is exactly what will happen if you try to deceive your potential love interests. It's like the old saying, "if you don’t have money or a really nice car, you better get people to love you for who you really are." Stop lying and you'll be just fine. Good luck!
